Tag Archives: marriage

New Year’s Resolutions

Conversation With My Husband…


We are sitting in the breakfast room of our hotel in Copenhagen on the morning of December 23rd.  We leave later today for Næstved to spend Christmas with Martin’s family and head home and back to work next Monday. No plans for New Year’s eve since Martin works in the evening till 11:20pm on the 31st and I work at 5:50am on the 1st.

Which makes me start to think about new year’s resolutions. Since I am a list-maker, the resolution idea is an list-making opportunity that can’t be skipped.

“Hey!” I say suddenly, waking all of us up from our dazed slow motion breakfast, “Do you have a new year’s resolution?”

Martin looks appropriately dismayed. He probably had harboured the secret hope that I would somehow forget about the concept and we could quietly pass from one year to the next without anyone proposing he reform anything about his already perfect-in-his-mind life.

Hoping to change the subject by using nonsense talk (a technique he uses frequently), he replies: “Yep. Eat less fish.”

I stare at him. He stares back. Elliot watches us and opens his mouth to comment (most likely something about the fact that his dad hardly ever eats fish). Before he can, I say: “Ok, that sounds good.”

“You think?” Martin looks slightly surprised and vaguely worried.

“Sure. Eat less, and fish.”


“There was a comma in that sentence, I’m sure. So you’ve decided to eat less, and to take up fishing. I think that’s a great idea. We can go fishing with my dad next summer. I love fishing. In fact, that’s brilliant.”

Martin is staring at me with an unchanging expression, nothing in his demeanor betraying the rapidly evolving thoughts racing through his mind as he stares unblinking at me, but inside I am sure he is thinking: oh crap is she actually serious or just joking there is no way I’m going fishing even though I have never actually tried it I already know that I’m not going to like it and I’m not going to eat less nobody is going to tell me how to live my life although she’s probably right I need to eat healthier so ok I’ll give it a try but the fishing thing is out I’m putting my foot down on that one well except if there’s beer involved I could sit out in the sun holding a fishing rod if I have a cold beer at hand so ok I’m into the eat less and fish idea dammit why is she always right.

He decides to change the subject because he is not someone who can admit defeat but I know innately that I have won this battle.

“More coffee?”

Ah, true love. It’s great, isn’t it?









Keeping the love alive.

Martin and I have recently gone through the 7 year itch phase. Oh don’t worry, nothing actually happened. We hardly got itchy at all. Barely a tickle.

We just kind of noticed that we had been together more than 7 years, in fact, in a few months we’ll be at the 9 year mark, which means we made it. Right?

I actually think there is something to this 7 year itch thing. It’s not that relationships all fail just then, but it’s certain that the honeymoon phase is over. You have kids, responsibilities… Well actually we had that even before our honeymoon so I’m not sure how that fits.

I think what really happens around the 7 or 8 year mark is you get comfortable. Doing anything extra is, well, extra. It takes work. And the person is there anyway, it’s not like you need to make an effort. Subconsciously, you start to feel that if they stuck around this long, they are probably not going anywhere. Besides, they have no time to go anywhere. Every minute of every day is already taken up with keeping the apartment clean, feeding the hungry masses of kids around here, controlling the crazy masses of kids around here, and entertaining the bored masses of kids around here. There is realistically no time to get itchy.

Tomorrow Martin leaves for a mini-vacation to Zurich to see a friend. This morning I quite lovingly said: “Hey, I’m going to miss you.” (Hey is our term of endearment for each other. You know, like others say dear or honey or babe? We say hey. It’s all really quite romantic over here.)

He replied: “It’s only 3 days”.

Now who here agrees that is the WRONG answer??

Theoretically, I should grump about this for several days. Or at least several hours. Or a few minutes, minimum. Oh who has the energy to grump, really. He’s right, it’s only three days, and in fact, the truth is, I’m TOTALLY looking forward to it. I’ll have the apartment all to myself! At least, during the six hours when Elliot and Daniel are gone to school and assuming Jesse is not home. I can do WHATEVER I want!!

I can go back to bed in the morning. I could eat ice cream for lunch. I could look at the laundry pile and not do it.  I could write without interruptions. I could put whatever music on I want!! I could even watch TV, in the MIDDLE of the day, by myself!!!! And it could be show with absolutely no violence or action of ANY kind!!! Oh my goodness I might just have to change the locks and not let anybody back in.

Ok so I guess I forgive him for saying it’s only three days (oh no! It’s only three days!?!??!)

Plus, he just got back from getting groceries and got me flowers. I know you are all saying “awwww” now and picturing my husband at the doorstep holding a bouquet of roses. In actual fact he came in carrying four heavily overloaded shopping bags and handed them to me, and in one, right there between the chicken wings and the jar of tomato sauce, is a bouquet of yellow and pink flowers.

So I guess we’ll be ok.